Christina is an emotional eater. She's uncomfortable in social situations, and this upsets her. She's also very hard on herself. Especially when she feels she has embarrassed herself, or committed some real or imagined social faux pas, she turns to food. Somehow, the food is a friend, and a solution, and a source of numbing her feelings. Having been raised in an alcoholic home, she believes that she is handling her life much better by turning to food than to alcohol. However, sometimes she wistfully reflects, and wishes she could be like those other people she knows who don't seem to need food for comfort.

Christina has tried stoically avoiding food when upset, but it just calls her name too loudly. When she starts a new diet, everything goes great for a while. She can even avoid eating for comfort, because she's on a high from her new diet and initial weight loss. But eventually, it all comes crashing in. She turns to her old friend, whom she is increasingly regarding as more of an enemy than a friend. Other times she resigns herself to a life of overeating and overweight. Sometimes when she's upset with herself, she just can't wait to get to the supermarket and stock up.

What is emotional eating?

The DSM-IV, (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) published and copyrighted by the American Psychiatric Association, does not define emotional eating specifically. However, it does recognize binge eating as a disorder.

It is generally recognized in the field of psychology that emotions play a part in the behavior of many overeaters. Put simply, emotional eaters have a relationship with food. As an emotional eater, Christina might eat in response to any of these emotions and some not on this list:

• anger
• feeling worthless
• resentment
• feeling unappreciated
• embarrassment
• shame
• stress
• boredom
• lack of control
• hopelessness
• depression
• loneliness

Your emotions are not to blame!

Everyone has emotions, but not everyone overeats.

Happily, Christina doesn't have to do anything about her emotions. Emotions come and go. What lies behind those emotions, however, is self-talk. Sometimes self-talk causes the emotions. Other times, self-talk aggravates existing emotions. Either way, Christina's problem is the self-talk, not the emotions.

Self-talk causes emotional eating

Beliefs and self-talk that contribute to emotional eating:

Here are just a few possible examples of Christina's beliefs and self-talk. Notice the "musts" and beliefs about what is intolerable.

• Feeling embarrassed is intolerable.
• Feeling lonely is intolerable.
• All uncomfortable feelings are intolerable.
• When I'm feeling bad I must get rid of the feeling right away.
• I deserve a little comfort.

Christina can then replace her beliefs with more rational beliefs and self-talk. She will be helped most if she is willing to write them down and spend a few minutes each day reading them. In this way, her new self-talk will eventually become part of her thinking. Here are a few examples of what she might write:

• I can tolerate making a fool of myself.
• If I'm willing to experience bad feelings, I'll be able to take more emotional risks in life.
• Feeling foolish is part of life, and part of living fully.
• I don't need to numb those feelings in any way. I can let them fade away.
• I can find new ways to stay busy while the feelings fade. That's different from denial or trying to numb them.
• Excessive emotional eating is a form of substance abuse.
• It's not terrible if I find myself eating in response to emotions. As soon as I notice it, I can simply say, "Okay, I've had enough of that."
• In the long run, constantly overeating doesn't comfort me after all because there's nothing comfortable about being overweight!
• Everyone occasionally derives comfort from food. It's a matter of degree.

Where can emotional overeaters go for more information?

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Christina would benefit from talking to others. She could join the free Yahoo! Diet Survivors message board.

Another good source of help for Christina would be a book about cognitive therapy. There are several available on the Web. She can find one by typing in "REBT" or "Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy" or "Cognitive therapy." We recommend Three Minute Therapy by Dr. Michael R. Edelstein.

In addition, Christina might be interested in subscribing to the free e-mail newsletter, Diet Survivors™ (View a sample without subscribing.)

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Christina might also like to buy the book How to Survive Your Diet and Conquer Your Food Issues Forever by Linda Moran. This book will help her with her thoughts and self-talk as they are directly related to her emotional eating. Learn more.

Stop the emotional eating!

You can end the emotional eating and find your right weight without rigid diets or exercise. We offer plenty of free advice on this web site, and in the Diet Survivors™ newsletter.

In addition, you can order How to Survive Your Diet and Conquer Your Food Issues Forever. This book will open your eyes to the role our self-talk plays in our dysfunctional eating. This warm, personal, fun book is an easy read, and will be enjoyed again and again. You will never think the same way about food and diets.

Tired of dieting?

How to Survive Your Diet and Conquer Your Food Issues Forever

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What about other diet problems?

To read more about how to solve diet problems, click on Solve your dieting problems. Diet problems are also addressed in How to Survive Your Diet and its companion newsletter, Diet Survivors™.

To learn more about normal eating, read what is normal eating?

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Last Modified: Wednesday, 06-Feb-2008 07:20:28 PST Betterway Press
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These Web pages provide sensible advice on healthy diets, nutrition, and weight loss. However, no advice given here is intended as a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult your doctor when deciding to make significant dietary or lifestyle changes.