Diet Survivors™ newsletter September 2007
The newsletter for normal eaters
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About this issue
This issue of Diet Survivors™ is the second in our two-part series targeted to our male subscribers. But if you're a woman, read on!
After years of feelings therapy, reparenting, nurturing your inner child, or visiting your traumatic childhood too many times, you'll find self-interrogation to be upbeat, current, a relief, and a lot more fun.
And it just may help you help a man in your life.
About this issue |
Self-interrogation |
Use math to find hunger and fullness |
Irrational beliefs |
Rational beliefs |
Interrogate yourself
Last month we talked about men recovering from the diet mentality and eating disorders. They may have some of the same problems that women do, but they have their own style of recovery.
This month we'll explore more fully an approach enjoyed by men because it doesn't require grueling "feelings" therapy or exploring your childhood.
The method is called self-interrogation and its benefit is that it will keep you in the present day and give you quick tools. And a side-benefit is that if there's a lady in your life, she'll be thrilled with what she'll call your improved self-awareness.
We'll divide self-interrogation into two categories. The first, we'll apply directly to the skill of knowing when and how much to eat. We refer to these kinds of outward changes as technical changes.
The second category is broader in scope and more about inner changes. In this category of self-interrogation, we'll take a look at some common faulty beliefs that keep guys stuck in the diet trap.
Then we'll offer a few alternative, more rational beliefs that will lead to success. We refer to these inward changes as adaptive changes.
Self-interrogate your eating
A mathematical method for finding hunger and fullness
Lisa Greer, of Beaver Falls, PA, who is fairly new at normal eating, says that finding hunger is one of the toughest parts in the beginning. She explains, "After we've been eating just to eat and not for true hunger, feeling hunger can be tricky. It was for me the first few days."
But Lisa has found a way that works for her: "I usually wait until I have feelings of disorientation (slight) and actual pain in my belly... hunger pangs. Then, I let that build to a 3 on the scale of 0 (no hunger) to 10 (so full you will pop). I eat at 3, and I am usually stopping at 6 or 7 right now."
You might ask, "Well, how do I know when I've reached a 6?" Greer's numeric method, while scientific, does not absolve the individual from using their judgment. It takes a little practice, and a willingness to once again find your own wisdom after deferring so long to the judgment of others or that of a diet.
If you've suspended your judgment in the past in the name of rigid adherence to a diet, finding it again may be a slippery slope at the beginning. Recoverers sometimes wonder if their judgment is not trustworthy. But it is, provided that you are not using it to force yourself onto a strict eating regimen.
Concludes Greer, "This clicked for me. I have only been practicing this for about 2.5 weeks... but I've already made many discoveries, and I have hope for the first time in a long time."
Are you a numbers junkie?
If you've been dieting a long time, you've probably become an expert at counting something. Perhaps you've counted calories, or grams of carbohydrates, or fat grams. You may even be addicted to counting.
If you're a numbers junkie, you might not be ready to give up measuring something. Like the heroin addict who uses the less-harmful methadone to replace the heroine, you might consider using a scale like Ms. Greer's as your methadone. At least, that way, you get to count something.
So, like Ms. Greer, try measuring how hungry you are. Do your human best to eat at a 3, and stop at a 7. But make no mistake about it—you'll need to incorporate your judgment and self-constraint as well. These character traits are marginalized by diet rules yet are central to the hunger and fullness approach to living.
Self-interrogate your beliefs
The irrational beliefs
Jamal was fed up with dieting. But every time he tried this new whiz-bang method he heard about, called "hunger and fullness," he just couldn't help himself. He just had to add a hood ornament or two.
In order to lose weight faster, Jamal tried accompanying his portion control with:
- Diet pills
- Avoiding carbohydrates
- Excessive exercise
- Sugar replacement products
Over time, Jamal concluded that portion control just doesn't work. But what really went wrong? The problem, it turns out, lay in Jamal's beliefs.
Fortunately, Jamal learned a little bit about cognitive therapy from a friend, and by reading about it on the Betterway Press Web site.
According to experts in the field of cognitive therapy, beliefs are the cause of unpleasant feelings. Therefore, it is not necessary to explore feelings except to simply be aware of what they are.
Instead, the cognitive therapy approach is to uncover for yourself what your faulty beliefs are. By replacing your beliefs (and irrational self-talk) with more rational beliefs, the resulting feelings will also change.
And voila! Your feelings will improve without ever having to discuss your "mother issues."
Jamal decided to write down a list of his underlying beliefs. Here is Jamal's list:
- I have to get this weight off fast.
- Low carb dieting really is best. Carbs are for wimps anyway.
- Sugar is bad for me, and only makes me hungrier.
- No pain no gain. Therefore, it must be painful to lose weight.
- I need something extreme to solve my problems.
- A friend of mine lost weight fast by dieting, so I can, too.
The rational beliefs
Jamal then did some research on the topic of normal eating, and read a few back issues of the Diet Survivors newsletter.
He then interrogated himself for evidence that each of the above beliefs was true. He found no hard evidence as to their truth. He concluded that all of the beliefs he wrote down are not serving him well and can be replaced.
As a final step in his self-interrogation, Jamal replaced his faulty beliefs with more rational ones. Here is Jamal's new list:
- As I grow older and leave my foolish ways behind, I realize that balance and good judgment are important to me,
- As much as I want a quick fix to my weight problem, I guess I'm in this for the long haul.
- I really do like french fries and I miss them.
- I can stand to look at myself in the mirror. I'm relatively healthy, and my lady likes me. So there's no pressure to lose weight, but I'd really like to.
- I now believe that I can achieve my healthy weight by legalizing all foods and eating normally.
- It's not very manly to be fat, so I'll adjust my view of manly portion sizes to something more reasonable.
- I've been using the wrong models. I should look to friends who lost weight permanently, not who lost weight quickly.
- Regular exercise or activity will help me stay healthy and thin. I will find an activity I enjoy so that it lasts.
Learn more about the book, How to Survive Your Diet, available now! Two safe ways to order.
What is normal eating?
Visit our Diet Survivors™ group on
Yahoo!
Subscribe to this monthly newsletter
About this issue |
Self-interrogation |
Use math to find hunger and fullness |
Irrational beliefs |
Rational beliefs
Copyright © 2007, Linda E. Moran. All rights reserved.
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