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Remove the fats, count calories, go to the gym, use smaller plates. Dieters usually psyche themselves up for technical changes, which are changes to their food or their lifestyle. These are external changes, and some of them do help a little.
But without an adaptive change, a dieter will eventually return to his old ways. That's because distorted inner beliefs and self-talk get in the way:
Some beliefs are not only distorted—they're downright irrational. It's no wonder so many diets fail. These beliefs, rules, edicts, and self-talk are eventually our undoing.
How about instead if we focus in on the adaptive, or inner changes, we need to help us become normal, wise eaters? When we examine our beliefs and self-talk, we begin to recognize which of our beliefs are really helping, and which are not. We begin to form our own judgment, or "inner food wisdom" that will turn us into normal eaters.
The goal, then, isn't so much to teach you a new way to eat, or a new method of dieting that's come to be known as "intuitive eating." Rather, the goal is to help you become so in tune with yourself that you know precisely what your body needs in order to achieve and maintain the right weight. This effort has little to do with rule about restaurants or counting fat grams.
That said, it is not enough to tell a dieter to simply change his lifestyle or quit his diet mentality—some of us have carefully crafted our irrational beliefs for years. You'll need to do a little work.
Food addiction and chronic diet failure are caused by, or exacerbated by, faulty beliefs about dieting and body image. One of the most egregious beliefs fostered by the diet industry is that if you already have weight problems, you need to be told what to do in order to lose the weight. Dieters get hooked on rules: rules for portion control, meal size, points, calories, gram counts, when to weigh, and more.
If you've been on the dieting track for a while, you're used to being told what to do, how much to eat, and what to eat. But by now you may have noticed that your body and mind eventually rebel. The answer is to take back your own judgment. Listening to your own body is what will make it happy.
It's time to subject all weight loss advice, even the advice contained herein, to your own judgment. It's time to judge for yourself what to eat, how much, and when. You might not know this yet, but you really do know these things.
Finding your own food wisdom is a balancing act of learning what "normal eaters" do, while learning to tune out external rules. You may say, "But I've never known how to eat. How am I supposed to figure it out for myself?" You might want rules, but general guidelines about what's normal are better.
Make sure you are hungry before you start the meal. Eat slowly if it's practical. Once you sense that you might not feel so hungry anymore, try stopping. If, in a few minutes, you feel hungry, then top off your tank with just a little bit more (sometimes a single piece of cheese will do the trick). Wait until you are good and hungry again for your next meal.
It may take a while to develop the level of sensitivity to discover you need one more slice of cheese, but it will come. Keep at it. In the meantime, you might find yourself faking it a bit. That's okay. You can end your meal somewhat arbitrarily for now. There will be mistakes along the way.
Remember, however, that these are technical changes. What's more important is to question your beliefs, such as "I must be have a food plan or I can't succeed." What evidence have you really seen of this? Is it really true? Is it time to take a risk and try another way?
The first recommended adaptive change for this month is to tell yourself this, as many times a day
as you need to:
I do have the ability to judge how much to eat. At first, stopping at the end of a meal will feel a little arbitrary, but I'll catch on. After a while, knowing when to stop eating will feel instinctive again, or perhaps, for the first time in my life.
The second recommended adaptive change for this month is this self-talk:
My negative self-talk and its resulting negative feelings are only an annoyance. I can still make positive choices.
This month's suggested technical change is to learn, or rather, relearn, what you like to eat.
Waiting until you are hungry and stopping when you are no longer hungry are the keys to weight loss. But it doesn't end there. Following your appetite's desires to the extent that food availability allows is just as important. If you've been on diets for a long time, the idea of eating what you want may seem counterintuitive. However, we're not suggesting that you swing the pendulum to the other extreme and only indulge on chocolate eclairs. There is an in-between.
Within the bounds of hunger and fullness, and within the bounds of taste, there are some good, sensible guidelines which your grandmother probably followed. Picture the old-style basic four food groups. We suggest updating the old four food groups to reflect the health and diet value of whole grains and healthy fats. The suggested technical change for this month is to think in terms of the basic food groups described below.
With the understanding that we are not recommending any particular plan, we also recognize that if you've been living a dieting life for a long time, it might be hard for you to translate the above advice into sound, small, normal meals. Following are some examples of meals eaten by a woman who is 120 pounds, or will eventually slim down to 120 pounds as a result of eating this way.
Of course, your meals could look very different. Eat only what you find delicious, and use your own judgment about portion sizes.
If you start feeling weak before dinner, then have something small, or have something before going to bed.
These Web pages provide sensible advice on healthy diets, nutrition, and weight loss. However, no advice given here is intended as a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult your doctor when deciding to make significant dietary or lifestyle changes.
Direct all technical questions and comments about this site to webmaster
Last Modified: Wednesday, 06-Feb-2008 07:12:49 PST Betterway Press
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Technical changes alone will fail
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| Diets often don't work. Find out what is normal eating? |
| What is cognitive therapy? Cognitive therapy is a way to help yourself live a more rational, peaceful life, without having to delve into your past. Find out more about cognitive therapy. |
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What are technical and adaptive changes? These are two different approaches to bringing about improvement in your life. Many dieters mistakenly make technical changes, when they really need to make adaptive changes. Find out more about technical and adaptive change. |
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| View further studies that support our principles of normal eating. |
| In our upcoming July newsletter, find out what readers have to say about body image, trusting your own judgment, and eating for pleasure. Read the first winning story. |
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Order How to Survive Your Diet and Conquer Your Food Issues Forever by Linda Moran. Find out more about this book for dieters. 5.25" x 8.25" quality paperback 150 pages Index ISBN: 0-9749396-0-9 Library of Congress Control Number: 2004092105 $14.95 |