Diet Survivors™ newsletter
April 2006
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Rational Eating
Good News! There is, indeed, something more you can do! Diet success, it turns out, is mostly about learning to make adaptive changes.
You've been exerting so much effort on technical changes, yet the rewards have been limited. Maybe you've even increased your exercise with an initial burst of enthusiasm and some success, but now your interest in the exercise is waning. A modicum of steady exercise is good, but the extreme exercise is taking up time you'd rather spend elsewhere.
How much more work can you do? Many dieters give up, exhausted. But there's no need. It's time to go beyond and even discard some food changes, diets, and excessive exercise, and make an adaptive change instead.
What are adaptive changes for dieters?
Adaptive changes are the kind of internal changes in our beliefs that are needed for successful, lasting, weight loss. Examples of new beliefs are:
- It's fun to learn to eat tiny, delicious meals that are not altered in any way.
- I've been sold a lie that "eating more food" is desirable.
- I will take responsibility for my attitudes and beliefs about food and dieting.
- I can learn to view stress differently. Once I believed that stress was undesirable and should be numbed. I used food. Now I embrace stress as my friend, and make rational decisions about which sources of stress I can actually control and change, and which ones I can accept.
- Emotions cause stress, but I don't have to analyze my emotions or do anything else to rid myself of stress. Instead I can tell myself that stress is tolerable. Emotional upset is unavoidable, so why not embrace stress?
- Boredom causes stress, too. I can tell myself that it's okay to be unproductive sometimes. I don't have to eat to fill the time. In fact, I can allow myself to do nothing!
- I can learn to use my rational mind, not emotional changes or food changes, to overcome my eating problems.
What are technical changes for dieters?
Technical changes, on the other hand, are changes to food or circumstances. They are surface changes. Some technical changes are good for us and some are not. Examples of technical changes, both beneficial and harmful, include:
- Become generally aware of the glycemic index* of various foods (recommended).
- Eliminate a food group from your diet, such as fats or carbohydrates (not recommended).
- Take a drug that blocks your body from absorbing one of those food groups (not recommended).
- Follow a food plan that tells you when, where, and what to eat (not recommended).
- Eliminate all temptations from the house (okay to do if it has no impact on your family).
- Learn to eat small portions (recommended).
- Learn to wait until you are hungry before eating (recommended).
- Make rules such as "always eat slowly" or "use a smaller plate" (not necessary).
*Note: Look for more explanation about glycemic index by searching the Web. Watching your glycemic index means steering away from refined carbohydrates, such as white bread, which are stored by your body as fat instead of burned as fuel. Especially as we grow older, this technical change becomes increasingly helpful.
Making peace with portion control
Phrases like "I'm not willing," "I'm not ready," and "I won't be controlled," all come in response to the suggestion to eat small portions. Those statements, self-talk, and beliefs are emotionally based. Diet Survivors™ believe that emotions are best not fought with emotions.
Instead, attack emotions with intellect. Just as the surest cure for over sensitivity to criticism is an intellectual approach to the criticism, so too are all counterproductive emotions best approached with the intellect. In short, it is best, at times, to set emotions aside.
As you look back over some of your past attempts at expressing emotions, is it really true that the expression of emotions mitigates them? Or is it usually the opposite—expressing emotions is like gasoline on a campfire. So much for the "express your anger" movement of the seventies and eighties. Anger, especially, is an emotion best dealt with rationally.
Do not misunderstand. No one is suggesting that squelching or stuffing emotions is healthy. Yet when we express negative emotions, we make ourselves even more vulnerable and stressed out than when we started. Who wants that?
Besides, recipients of your negative feelings generally do not deal well with them, so you tend not to get what you were looking for. Happily, there is another alternative which is the healthiest of all.
Instead of expressing everything or, in the other extreme, trying to numb the feelings, just be aware of your negative emotions. Regard them only as mild annoyances, not some kind of gospel for how you should act. For example, if you feel you've just embarrassed yourself to death, see if you can decide to allow the feeling to fade out on its own, while you proceed with your day.
Likewise, for every feeling you have over the course of the day, you can make an intellectual decision whether to follow the feeling in your decision-making, or whether to walk away from it. Isn't that a liberating idea? It means becoming self-aware, but everyone is capable of doing so, and it's well worth the little bit of effort in the beginning.
How are emotions and food related?
Actually, they're closely related. Consider how connected food is to celebrations and culture in general. And that's not a bad thing! But emotions, especially negative ones and unconscious ones, cause us stress.
If you're a person who eats when stressed, you know what has worked in the past to dull that stress! Try something new today. Try to change your beliefs about stress. Do you think stress is to be avoided? Then change your belief to "stress is tolerable." Stress is caused by emotions, and emotions cannot be avoided.
Then begin to attack your negative emotions with better self-talk. The very feelings of rebellion that we experience when we feel controlled, for example, can be inspected more closely. Are you rebelling against the idea of portion control?
The diet industry may have done you a disservice, by reinforcing some of your false beliefs. But nobody is going to apologize, and it requires our intellect to dispute those beliefs. Here are some beliefs you might have about portion size.
- I should be allowed to eat all I want.
- I'm supposed to want to eat more. Doesn't everybody?
- If I eliminate carbohydrates, I'll be able to eat all I want, and that's good.
- If I eliminate fats, I'll be able to eat all I want, and that's good.
- It's not fair that I can't eat all I want in order to be thin.
- It's not fair that after I lose all the excess weight, I won't be able to eat as much as I do now.
Making peace with small portions is about surrendering to new beliefs about eating and food. Do you really think the above statements are true? Or is it just that you've believed them for so long that they seem true? Speak them out loud for a moment. Don't they seem absurd when you expose them to the light of day?
Here are some replacement beliefs. Dwell on them for several days. After all, you've been dwelling on the old beliefs for a long time, and they tend to permeate the brain after that long. You'll need to be diligent in replacing your beliefs.
- Wanting to eat more food for the sake of eating more food doesn't make sense.
- I can be content with the fact that I often don't get my way in life.
- I am allowed to eat only food that I find delicious; indeed, I was created to do so.
- It may take a while, but I can rid myself of food guilt.
- If I'm concerned about the health impact of fats, I can remember that tiny portions of delicious foods with fats in them does not amount to very many fat grams at the end of the day!
- If I'm concerned about the health impact of carbohydrates, which raise my glycemic index, I can remember that tiny portions which include healthy whole grains, nuts, beans, and starchy vegetables are not going to hurt me. Rather, my belief that I can and should eat unlimited amounts of carb-free foods will hurt me.
What to do with the new beliefs about food and dieting
The key to making true adaptive change in your life is to meditate and dwell on new beliefs. It won't be easy to dismantle and replace some of your irrational beliefs. But it's worth the time and effort.
So pick some new beliefs from this newsletter which your rational mind tells you are true, and meditate on them throughout your day, day after day, until they have replaced a false belief you once had. You can also think of your own. Just make sure they are true!
How to do portion control
You can think of switching to small portions as a technical change. The beauty of portion control is that you can put back the taste. So start serving yourself small, delicious meals. If you've been low-fat dieting, put back the fat. If you've been low-carbohydrate dieting, put back the carbohydrates, but make them whole grains and complex carbs most of the time.
You will likely be surprised and delighted at how small a meal you can eat, if it's totally delicious. Slow down at the end by stalling.
For example, cut smaller and smaller pieces, stop to talk, whatever you need to do in order to digest and find a sensation that you are no longer hungry. It will take some concentration at first, but you'll get used to it. Once you sense that your hunger is gone and your blood sugar is restored, stop eating. Try this several times, and see how painless it really is. What we've described, paired with good timing, are the keys to permanent weight loss, plain and simple.
Timing will be dealt with in future newsletters, but suffice it to say for now that all you need to do is wait for your hunger signals before you eat. Your signals might be fatigue, difficulty in concentrating, irritability, or maybe a stomach growl.
You can find your own signals. If your hunger signal is a headache, don't wait that long. Instead, gradually reduce your intake of high-glycemic foods. The headaches could have been caused by too many refined carbohydrates on a regular basis. No matter what your work or family circumstances, you can make this happen if you want to.
A new way to think about your weight struggles
Thinking in new ways is called adaptive change. You can embrace any or all of the new beliefs described above! But if you want to pick out just one to focus on, try this.
| I have been told what to do by the diet industry for too long. Today I will begin to apply my rational mind to my weight struggles. I take back the reigns of discernment and judgment. This action will be my biggest step toward success. |
This newsletter is for struggling dieters who would like to find a better way. Our mission is to help our subscribers to understand the difference between adaptive change and technical change. Dieters usually try technical changes and don't realize they need adaptive changes. The information contained herein does not constitute medical advice. You are urged to see your doctor before making any lifestyle, nutrition, or eating changes. Your doctor has the final say about these matters.
On the other hand, this information goes beyond what a physician has time to do. We seek to help the bewildered dieter who has been told, "Like it or not, weight control comes down to small portions." We will help you make the needed internal changes in your attitudes and beliefs about food and dieting so that you can succeed. We refer to those internal changes as adaptive changes.
These Web pages provide sensible advice on healthy diets, nutrition, and weight loss. However, no advice given here is intended as a substitute for professional medical advice. Always consult your doctor when deciding to make significant dietary or lifestyle changes.
Direct all technical questions and comments about this site to webmaster
Last Modified: Wednesday, 06-Feb-2008 07:12:45 PST Betterway Press
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